Lowlife hahaa~

Have you ever climbed into a public rubbish bin or find yourself in a huge drain just to collect aluminium cans? Or perhaps having problem buying noodle and two eggs for a family dinner? Or went into a drain besides a supermarket catching fish for fun with your brother while the other childrens of your age are having PS, PS2 and gameboy for entertainment? Yup I went through all that, at the age of eleven. What do you do at the age of eleven? Tuition? Going to sport complex for a jog? Karate lesson? Or a swimming lesson perhaps? I spend my time walking around my hometown collecting aluminium cans at that age. I helped my parents by carrying boxes of drinking water and blocks of ice to my dad’stall. And I end up now being a NOOB in sports and i cant swim, not to mention being teased by people around me. A hot shower is nothin special for a child but I can only take bath outside my house using tap water spared in tank, in the night. The coldness strikes right into my bones, and I realised how unfair and cruel this world actually is. I hate rich people,some of them can get money easily without much work and with money they have all the credits. I hate people who swims and I hate myself cant fucking swim. I hate good-looking people and “nice-looking people get it first”, I hate people who drives, cause my dad will never let me drive (if you understand the importance of a car if it’s the only car in your house). I hate everyone who is better than me, its not their fault actually and I understand that. Throughout my life, I learn to remain silent, cause its the best solution for every problem, I learn to lay low, I learn to be independent and I’ve learnt the beauty of sadness . And for the same reason, I lost my ability to socialise, I cant fuckin swim and that’s the way my emo-ism comes from. I know exactly the value of money more than anyone of you reading this. I know how much 50¢ cost, I’ll choose a 50¢ fried noodle rather than 7-8 ringgit’s food which can fill my stomach. I’ll choose a 50¢ iced chinese tea rather than starbucks or coffee bean to end my thirst, and that’s how much 50¢ is.

Maybe im such a freak to think differently than others or maybe im such a lowlife and I can never be put under the spotlight. Maybe that’s how I should live and maybe that’s destined.