蝶

偶尔看到朋友和另一半嬉笑玩闹 除了羡慕我也只能傻笑， 是真心的祝福他们也为他们开心 我呀，这些是真的没再想了， 可能除却巫山不是云吧， 痛了好久，一年多了 现在想起她，心也不再怎么痛了 曾经，真的好爱好爱她...

燃起

雨点不尽，那倾盆大雨，仿佛告诉我缘分已尽

意想不到之际，你轿稚的脸庞忽映眼里，

握着你手冷冰冰，还怨它阴晴不定，竟刮风飘雨

忘了你身上着的什么衣，只依稀记起你迷人的眼睛，

蓝色手袋，湿透了的脚尖，和小鹿乱撞在我心底

双手合十压抑忐忑的心，目送你离去，仍依恋情迷

朋友肩膀上搭着双臂，我轻声低语“她就是我的唯一”

现实梦境，我分不清，因为你只出现在我梦里

好想捉紧，那一刹那那一季，永永远远的存在心里

经雨水洗涤，既凉又静，微量的黄昏天空放晴

但我心里暖暖的洒了一地

Lowlife hahaa~

Have you ever climbed into a public rubbish bin or find yourself in a huge drain just to collect aluminium cans? Or perhaps having problem buying noodle and two eggs for a family dinner? Or went into a drain besides a supermarket catching fish for fun with your brother while the other childrens of your age are having PS, PS2 and gameboy for entertainment? Yup I went through all that, at the age of eleven. What do you do at the age of eleven? Tuition? Going to sport complex for a jog? Karate lesson? Or a swimming lesson perhaps? I spend my time walking around my hometown collecting aluminium cans at that age. I helped my parents by carrying boxes of drinking water and blocks of ice to my dad’stall. And I end up now being a NOOB in sports and i cant swim, not to mention being teased by people around me. A hot shower is nothin special for a child but I can only take bath outside my house using tap water spared in tank, in the night. The coldness strikes right into my bones, and I realised how unfair and cruel this world actually is. I hate rich people,some of them can get money easily without much work and with money they have all the credits. I hate people who swims and I hate myself cant fucking swim. I hate good-looking people and “nice-looking people get it first”, I hate people who drives, cause my dad will never let me drive (if you understand the importance of a car if it’s the only car in your house). I hate everyone who is better than me, its not their fault actually and I understand that. Throughout my life, I learn to remain silent, cause its the best solution for every problem, I learn to lay low, I learn to be independent and I’ve learnt the beauty of sadness . And for the same reason, I lost my ability to socialise, I cant fuckin swim and that’s the way my emo-ism comes from. I know exactly the value of money more than anyone of you reading this. I know how much 50¢ cost, I’ll choose a 50¢ fried noodle rather than 7-8 ringgit’s food which can fill my stomach. I’ll choose a 50¢ iced chinese tea rather than starbucks or coffee bean to end my thirst, and that’s how much 50¢ is.

Maybe im such a freak to think differently than others or maybe im such a lowlife and I can never be put under the spotlight. Maybe that’s how I should live and maybe that’s destined.

你不知道，还有多少个明天

我说，我写，我诉
辱骂，自讨，心痛
一切为了什么？
当时，我会告诉你那叫"___"
现在，我在做什么？

七夕

牛屎塔，糯米鸡，皮蛋粥，弹弓面，锅贴，荷叶饭，蛋塔，炸sotong，炒沙白，海鲜汤面，皮蛋水饺，鱼头米粉，沙煲伊面，猪肠粉，Tuaran面，ABC，satay，红豆沙，roti canai，布丁，还有各种饮料...这一次family trip有够力！三天就让我尝尽了沙巴的美食！我之前努力练的腹肌好不容易才看到一点曲线，三天后就不见了！不肥都几难！
七夕嘛，哎哟~我在七夕的最后一个钟把可爱的她弄哭了,电话筒里她的哭声，真的很叫人心疼！痛楚就好像妒忌吧，佩恩（Pein）教我的，感受痛楚，才能知道痛楚，了解痛楚~她跟我说那是牛郎织女的故事，对不起喽，我真的忘了这七夕情人节，自从初五以后，我已很少再接触华文了，对华文也渐渐冷淡了，中国的童谣神话我也早已忘了。
再过几天就九个月喽~唉~要争气，要努力读书好吗？
七夕~挺有意思的~

灰飞烟灭

一次两次 结束后他看着报告说“看似平常，但有必要再进一步检查...”
看见我一脸的不在乎，爸爸在旁警告说“你不要很爽!”
他问我说“你不担心吗？可能有问题，也可能只是个错误...”
他说这是先天性的问题，尽量少做激烈运动，为了进一步了解要尽可能找专科做扫描...可能是我多疑，但看着他的笑脸，总觉得事情没有他脸上的微笑那么简单...
“那这次的检查费用多少？”爸爸问道
“就免费吧，当是个我送你的礼物...”，我愣住了
年光似鸟，白狗过隙，欲望生遗憾，世上好多好多的事本来就不能如愿以偿，我岂不想好好爱一个人，好好孝敬父母，努力争气要出人头地？
看着曾祖父墙上的遗言“自知无能安分守己”，感触真的好多，一切都极其渺小
万一...有谁又会很在乎那万一呢？

原来我还不如纹身一个

每个早晨拿起手机除了你，我脑海里不会再出现第二个人，更不会为了个陌生人而忽略最爱自己的，而一而再再而三的欺骗，伤人。可能我木讷，土包子一个，可能时代的脚步就是这么走的，而我还傻傻的捍卫着“守候”这两个字。昨晚你说的要简单，要快乐，要随性，我再也无话可说了。我明白那就是你，谁也改不着，再多的花言巧语，再多的海誓山盟，只为了那瞬间讨好我，你的朋友，你向往的生活，永远比我都还来得重要。一切对你来说都那么容易，苦难能倾诉，心烦可逛街，闷了有朋友，闲了到处走。但我苦过，我知道一切来之不易，所以我才那么在乎，那么珍惜。我苦鬼知屁，倾诉谁人听，抱怨吞肚里，偶尔耍耍脾气，还要遭你指责批评，原来只有我取闹无理，原来都我自作多情。我单纯，我笨，心里有了你我不可能再去爱另外一个，我无论什么都把你排第一，换来的只是针刺巴掌心！谁也没错，我认了，所谓咒诅，就如此吧？再这么下去，我还能撑多久？